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FAQ'S - Q & A
Updated: 23-Nov-2002

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Question and Answers:

Question: returned letters

  • Why are my letters being returned to sender?
  • Why are my letters to thailand being returned to me?
  • Why are these girls, women, is this girl, is this woman, is this lady, are these ladies returning my letters?

Answer:

  • There are many reasons that letters may be returned to you the sender and when this does happen, THAIS would appreciate being informed of the incident with full details.


  • THAIS would like to know whether the letter was opened, resealed and returned or whether additional postage was added to the letter by the person returning the letter or whether it was a case of "no such person" or "no such address" or "refused" or "no forwarding address" or "moved" etc. THAIS needs this information in order to keep our records up to date and to prevent this from happening to other men also. Please include the V5-xxx or V4N1-xxx catalog number and the full name and address of the woman in question.


  • Perhaps the woman has moved and NOT left a forwarding address.
  • Perhaps the woman has moved and not informed THAIS of her new address.
  • Perhaps the Thai woman has supplied a bogus address.
  • Perhaps the Thai woman has passed away without notice, etc. (happened to me already)
  • Perhaps the woman's parents, family members or jealous ex boyfriend is intercepting the mail and returning it hoping that this will "stop any more letters from coming in the future".
  • Traditional Thai families sometimes arrange marriages for their children. It is possible that the girl's family does not approve of her making contact with foreign men for whatever the reason and therefore intercept the letters and send them back. Sometimes the girl receives the letters and sometimes not. I suppose it depends on who is quicker to the mail box. Some Thai families have connections to the postman. They request that he NOT deliver letters to the daughter when they are sent by a foreigner.
    (This has happened to me several times before !)

  • Do not forget that in Thailand, a proper Thai lady is presented with a problem by having contact with a foreign man. Very often Thai society will look down on her and say she is a prostitute because she was seen in public with a foreigner or known to be writing to or receiving phone calls from foreign men, particularly place of work or apartment building switchboard.

  • Perhaps the girl is no longer interested to write letters to any more men and penpals?

  • Perhaps the Thai girl has too many penpals already and she is just overwhelmed with letters.

  • Perhaps she has found someone already and is to busy to inform THAIS or you for that matter.

  • Perhaps the girl finds it easier to return the letters than to struggle with the English language to write an explanation why she is returning the letter.


    Okay, first let's look at the bright side. If your letter gets returned, most likely you will want to find a way to blame me for it somehow. Oh, that guy sold me a bum address and for 10 bucks to boot (read disclaimer). Frankly, consider yourself lucky that your letter was returned to you, it is easier to accept than the rejection of a no reply. Returned mail is a form of closure to an event and in a weird sort of way, a response in itself. (yeah, right)!

    So don't worry, be happy when your letter gets returned and do not forget to to let us know all the details so that it does not happen to other gentlemen.

  • The not so bright side would be, if your letter never gets a reply, and you actually have to deal with the fact that "you just may have been rejected". It is the "not knowing what happened" that can really get to you. Rejection is an unpleasant experience to deal with whether at the hands of your typical local girls or by overseas penpals. So, most folks just feel much better when they blame me for it. Bum address, insincere girl, never was a girl. It is easier than accepting rejection. BUT gentlemen, this is the "endeavor" that you have chosen to take a chance at winning at or losing, The chance of success or failure is what you have accepted by getting involved with international personals ads or even your local personals ads.

    This letter writing personals ads thing is not a "home shopping network" for Asian women. Just because you paid for the address in order to write a letter to a Thai girl does not mean that you own her or that she has any responsibility to reply to you, or that she will fall in love with you or want to marry you.

    You are purchasing a "chance" so to speak. A "chance or potential opportunity" to make contact with a Thai girl. There is no guarantee what the outcome will be. If you are one of those gentlemen who ONLY purchases ONE address, a no response or a returned letter is the risk that you assume. You are at a higher level of risk of experiencing this situation. This is why it is better to purchase several addresses using the discounting method (manually processed)

    Some girls are just testing the waters just the same as the men. Sure they may want to marry, but they are not going to marry the first man that comes down the pike from America or Europe. They are not that desperate. If they seem to be, that should be a warning sign to you anyway. Remember, you are purchasing contact information and a potential opportunity (chance) of making a new Thai friend. You are NOT purchasing a Thai girlfriend or a wife or the rights to own one.

    I try to provide as accurate of information as possible, unfortunately, I am limited to the accuracy, integrity and feedback of the female applicants and my male clients.

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