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Answers To FAQ'S
Updated: 04-Feb-2004

One of the most frequently asked questions is:

"Why don't I get any responses to my letters"?

That is a complex question to answer although I can give you a few suggestions which may help you to improve your successful response rate.

Many of THAIS clients have reported that they have been quite pleased with the responses that they have received to their letters from the Thai women posted in THAIS Personals Ads and have phoned or emailed to tell me so.

Of course it puzzles me when I hear reports that a client is not getting responses and I wonder why. I really feel bad inside when I hear such reports although when I started this business I expected to hear reports like that from time to time. Sometimes it makes me feel as though people think that my business is a hoax or inferior and it really hurts my feelings. I feel REALLY SORRY for any of the men that this has happened to because it has happened to me in the past also. I know how it feels to write all of those letters and no one writes back. It hurts and makes us feel like no one wants us or that we have been ripped off.

Well Folks, I have given this subject much thought.

Based on my personal experiences,

My Comments and Recommendations
Concerning Not Receiving Responses to Your Letters

Be sure to send a nice photo of yourself.

Do not send a photo of yourself lounging around your house or wearing casual sloppy clothes. Some men have the notion that "this is the real me" and a woman should select me for who I am and what I normally look like in everyday live.
Sorry, that is not the way it works.

It is an Asian cultural thing. Asian women want to see a neat, clean, well groomed, well dressed gentleman. So when you select photos to use or are taking new photos, wear nice and neat clothing (no T-shirts) and pose somewhere around your home or an office setting that shows that you are a man of means, as in you have a good job and are able to take care of a woman. In other words, stand by your nice clean car or awesome stereo system or in front of your nice home. Your photos should not show off your wealth, but subtly imply that you are a man of reasonable means. Do not give the women the misconception that you live poorly and cannot support her or a family. These are the things that Asian women knowingly or unknowingly look at to evaluate a man.

I would like to mention another thing about a gentleman's looks and how to compose your photographs. Asian women in general do not like long hair on men. In Thailand you will be equated with the European and international backpackers who hang out in Thailand and are on drugs. The general image of these folks is not good in the eyes of the Thai woman. Also, facial hair is a negative factor also. When I say facial hair, this includes moustaches.

My suggestion is to get a nice haircut and get a nice clean well groomed look. Remove your beard and moustache for your photo session and you will probably get better responses to your letters. Do not worry about it, hair grows back fairly quickly. The Thai girls like the clean cut look.

Now you may wonder why I would suggest such radical measures to improve responses. Well folks, that is what I had to do to improve responses to my letters when I first started witting letters to Thai women many years ago. I wrote almost 150 letters and got not many replies. I had my letters translated into the Thai language and still nothing. I cleaned up my looks in stages but nothing. Finally I had to cut my hair and moustache. Like magic, all of a sudden the women began to reply to my letters and the rate of replies was very high. It was unbelievable!

Of course I cannot guarantee that this will work for you, but it worked for me.

Try writing a general introductory letter and have it translated into the Thai language.

I have done this and the Thai women like it although you do not want them to think that they can write to you in Thai. You want to encourage them to write in English. Create a general introductory letter in the Thai language and leave space so that you can write in the names. Make copies of the Thai version and send the Thai version along with your English version. THAIS can do this for you on request.  for a quote on translation services and availability of our translator. Typically it will cost $35.00 US Dollars depending on the letter. You should include a sample of the letter so that we are able to give you an accurate quote.

When you write to the Asian women be sure to tell them your personal details.

When you write your letters be sure to tell the women your age and height and weight and hair color and eye color. If you do not, then they will be more likely to not reply to your letter. The same goes for not including a photo. No photo, then do not expect to get a reply. Also, DO NOT ABBREVIATE the CITY and STATE that you live in and be sure to PRINT your address very carefully and clearly.

Write clearly and legibly !
Do not handwrite your letters in longhand English.

Please do not write to the women using the longhand version of the English language. Think about it. You know how hard it is to read someone's handwriting in English even if you were born in an English speaking country. Think about someone who is only familiar with the text book versions of English handwriting and how hard it would be for them to decipher your longhand written letters. Most of these women are more familiar with printed text versions of the English language and longhand is probably a nightmare for them to read. Take your time and print your letters neatly in English of course. Typewriting is an alternative if you have poor English printing ability. I would particularly recommend this to our non English European clients.

Hey, just type the letter using an Arial font at about a number 12 point size.. that should do it.

I have had a hard time understanding the handwriting of many non English speaking European men when they have written to me, so I could imagine how difficult it must be for the Thai women to read their handwriting let alone understand their choice of English words and their sentence constructions. Please do not take this as an insult, all I am saying is that you will have to be very careful and put in more effort in regards to writing letters in order to be successful.

Try to use a VERY SIMPLE choice of words. Try not to write long and complicated compound complex sentences. Try to choose your words carefully because the women may not understand our common usages and slangs which flavor the English language. Always write politely. The Thai and Asian women like polite, mild mannered men.

Outdated addresses can be a problem sometimes:

Please note that THAIS does not invent false addresses!

It would be foolish of us to send out fraudulent addresses for our Asian women. It is in the best interests of THAIS and our clients to provide the most accurate addresses possible. THAIS wants to have SATISFIED CUSTOMERS.

If you are experiencing addressing problems, my answer for that situation is this.

Sometimes the women move and do not inform us of their address changes and there is no way to contact them in order to update their addresses. This is one situation that we do not have much control over, but WE DO TRY to keep the addresses up to date, and we do make attempts to track down lost souls ! Usually it is futile, but we do try. Remember, it is also in the best interests of THAIS and our clients to do so. We want to have satisfied customers.

Be careful what you say about yourself in your letters.

Do not always believe that the women understand what you are writing about or talking about on the phone. So many times it has happened that I would assume that the women understood what I was writing or talking about and they did not.

If you ask them "Do you understand what I am saying"? They will ALWAYS say YES, but most of the time they will not understand, so it might be wise to use some sort of subtle test questions to check their comprehension so that you can limit the occurrence of misunderstandings and miscommunication such as arrivals at airports or meetings for dinner etc.

It is very important to choose your words and descriptions very carefully especially when you are trying to explain to the Thai woman about the type of work or job or business that you do. Always be positive. Why?

The answer has to do with Thai culture and the way the woman will perceive you based on what you say. . What am I talking about?

Here are some answers based on my personal experiences in Thailand.

Okay, how do I start this. In Thailand, basically there is a very poor segment of the population who are the laborers and they are usually comprised of the lower classes of the population. Basically most folks from higher stations in life look down at the folks in the lower positions. These folks usually are the farmers, farm laborers, taxi drivers, truck drivers, carpenters, certain types of factory workers, heavy equipment operators, house painters, trash disposal people, building maintenance workers, building cleaning people etc etc etc.

Okay! Now in the USA you could be a truck driver and own a $150,000 rig and making very good money and leading a pretty good life. Do not tell the woman that you are a truck driver. She will not understand that you can be a truck driver and make a lot of money and not living a low class lifestyle. I know people who have building cleaning business and make good money doing it, but do not tell them that you clean buildings for a living. Say you are a painting contractor and you paint houses for a living. Maybe you run a big crew and make a very good living as a businessman and business owner. If you tell the girl that you are a painting contractor, most likely she will think that you are a laborer and of a lower class and not capable of being someone who can provide a secure environment for her. Okay, maybe you are a heavy equipment operator making big bucks, but depending on the way you present yourself there is a good chance that she will think you are not much better than what she can find in Thailand and probably choose someone else.

What should you do about this? Lie of course. Just kidding!

What you need to do is first, make yourself aware of these cultural aspects and try to describe yourself in such a way that the woman does not misunderstand your excellent qualifications or lack thereof.

For those of you who feel the need to be truthful and have trouble with not being direct about what you do for a living, good luck. I am not trying to encourage you to lie and the Thai women detest liars. What I am trying to encourage you to do is to not present yourself in a fashion that the Thai women will perceive as a negative factor, particularly when it comes to your type of employment and your financial ability to be able to provide a secure environment for her and your future family.

So basically try to keep out negative factors at least at first. Get to know the woman and eventually in the process she will develop her impression of you particularly after you have met each other in person. Eventually you can provide her with more details about your work or job or any negative factors, but by that time she probably will not care. You just do not want to provide negative information at the beginning. It gets you nowhere. Get your foot in the door first. This advice applies to many aspects of the letter writing process, but I do not recommend lying. I receive so many letters from the Thai women complaining about men that lie. Of course always be cautious about women that lie. Personally I always take anything anyone says with a grain of salt and MY ADVICE TO ALL MEN is to do so also. Be careful of becoming CHARMED by a woman from a culture that you know NOTHING about. Study the Thai culture concerning dating, marriage etc. You can purchase an EXCELLENT book on the subject from the THAIS Book Store for Thailand books and maps.
What should I do if I am writing to more than one woman and/or I am planning to go to Thailand for a visit?

Very Important Info !

If you are going to Thailand and you are writing to more than one woman, you must be very careful. Why?

Most women do not like to feel as though they are being PICKED OVER like fruit at a fruit stand. Men do not like to feel as though they are being picked over when it is the women doing the picking. NO ONE LIKES feel as though they are being treated this way. Everyone wants to feel WANTED and SPECIAL.

So the situation is this.
The men are writing to women who are half the way around the world. No one knows whether things will work out with any one particular woman of his interest. If you travel to Thailand to only visit one woman to make her acquaintance, anything could happen. Maybe you will not like her or she will not like you. Maybe she is a user or a fraud and disappears. Then what? You are stuck in an unfamiliar country far from home and you do not understand the language and you do not have any alternative plans or prospects. Myself, I do not want to be stuck with no alternatives so of course I recommend to contact as many women as possible or have a BACK UP PLAN such as a visit to the beaches in Phuket or a tour of northern Thailand.

As I said, I would contact several women and while in Thailand, contact them and discreetly meet each of them. Bangkok is a large city, but a very small town when it comes to being discreet. I will cover how to be discreet in Thailand later on.

How should I contact several women at the same time? Very Carefully For Sure !

Very Important Info !

I know that most men want to be HONEST with the women that they are writing to, at least I hope they do. Never the less, it is very important to NOT TELL ON YOURSELF and foolishly tell the women that you are contacting other women in Thailand also. This sort of honesty will get you nowhere. They will not be happy nor will they be understanding of your reasons for doing so. They will not understand that you are not trying to be a playboy and run around with a lot of women. They will not understand the logic involved in maximizing your trip by having multiple contacts in case your primary contact does not work out especially when you have traveled so far and at great expense of time, money and effort.
There is NO WAY that they will accept it. DO NOT FORGET THIS.

So what should I do, now that I am aware of all of this?

This is a complex question to answer so bear with me.

Warning ! If you are contacting more than one woman in Thailand and you decide to take a trip to Thailand to visit them, you must first decide which woman is your primary woman of interest. If she is the one that you really want to meet, then she will be the ONLY WOMAN that you tell about your travel plans such as arrival dates, flight numbers, hotel reservations, etc.

You may get some complaints that you did not announce your trip, but that is better than having more than one woman showing up at the airport looking for you and one of them was not invited. Yes, they will come to the airport uninvited and try to see who you are without telling you that they will be there.

Yes, this will definitely happen. It has happened to me and it is an UNRECOVERABLE ERROR. When one girl sees you meeting another girl, your finished. Worse than that, you do not want to take a chance on a confrontation or the possibility that you might meet both at the same time. You will lose both women and your credibility within the first few minutes of arriving in Bangkok. It happened to me, do not let it happen to you. To sum it up, meet your primary contact first if possible.

So we covered airports, now let's cover hotels. The same goes for the hotels. Do not tell the women you are writing to what hotel you will be staying at. If you need to do this, then only tell your primary contact and be sure to plan to see her first before meeting others or being seen with others for that matter. Bangkok, as large as it is, is really a small town and in a small town there are no secrets. Besides, foreigners in Thailand stick out and have a high profile.

Warning ! In Thailand, when you are staying in the hotels, many times the security is not the same as in the USA. In Thailand if you are meeting your primary contact but calling and making arrangements with others also, there is a GOOD CHANCE that the women you are contacting will talk to your front desk people or bell hops or service workers or hotel operators and I guarantee that SOMEONE will mention that you are seeing many girls. There are NO SECRETS kept when it comes to foreigners in Thailand. Your private business, you should assume, will become public knowledge and gossip around the hotel. This is my personal opinion based on my experiences. Yours could be much different than my own. Just be cautious.
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